So Crappy McCrapman, the evil demon who follows me around making my life suck, has deemed it necessary to destroy my beloved computer.

I will ignore, for a moment, the ramifications of losing my computer, and instead focus on what's important. Namely the people who somehow become computer experts the second something goes wrong with someone else's computer. Over the last two days I have gotten advice from people I barely trust to use a fork without hurting themselves, yet somehow they know exactly what's wrong with my computer.

Now, I appreciate that they're "just trying to help" but honestly can't they leave it to the people who actually know what the hell they're talking about? You don't see me popping into someone's heart surgery going "Hey guys, just stopped in to offer some advice!" Why? Because I'm not so stupid as to think I can offer any wisdom on a subject I "watched a tv show about" or "saw online" or "read in a book"

To put it briefly, my system locked up and now powers up but does not post. I have done extensive work eliminating things like my peripherals, ram and cables as the source of the problem. I also reset the bios and replaced the power supply and motherboard. I feel confident in saying that I have done everything within my power except replace the processor. I'm at the point now where there just isn't anything to blame it on but the processor.

As I've gone through this process, here is some of the "advice" I've gotten.

Idiot_01: Pull your ram one at a time
Me: Already did that
Idiot_01: Pull it all out
Me: Already did that. I also moved the sticks around
Idiot_01: It really sounds like a ram problem

Huh? How does that sound like a ram problem? It sounds to me like I've ELIMINATED the ram as a source for the problem. I have three sticks of ram. What do you think the odds are that all three of them failed at the exact same moment, and it doesn't post without any ram in it either, which means that coincidentally the slots ALSO failed at the exact same moment. Well thank you Einstein for figuring things out for me! How could I have ever done it without you?!

Me: So far I've done ~>insert 20 things I tried before I replaced the power supply<~ I've pretty much gotten to where it's either the motherboard or the processor
Idiot_02: Did you check your power supply?
Me: I just replaced it, didn't help.
Idiot_02: Did you ~>insert 20 things I already mentioned<~?
Me: Yeah, I just told you I did all that
Idiot_02: Yeah, that sounds like a motherboard or processor problem

Ooh, thank you for the affirmation oh wise and knowledgable one! I was doubting myself, but having you double check every step and then come to the SAME FRIGGIN CONCLUSION, makes me sure I was right. I hope I can rely on you for confirming all of life's great mysteries in the future...like does that button on the front REALLY turn the computer on?

Idiot_03: Why don't you just get a new computer?
Me: Because I can't afford it
Idiot_03: Maybe you can fix the one you have.
Me: Uh, I thought that's what I was trying to do
Idiot_03: You should send it to a repair shop
Me: I can't afford it. Besides, it's a frankenstein system, it's not worth putting that much money into it.
Idiot_03: You should just get a new one

Uh..what the hell? Circular logic for the win! I swear sometimes it's like the person I'm talking to has managed somehow to disconnect the part of their brain that is responsible for reason and coherent thought. It's like talking to a two year old in an adults body.

So here's some advice for all you wanna be techies. Make sure you know what the frick you're talking about before you share it with the rest of the world.